Monday, May 4, 2009

Are You Going to the Preakness?

Are you going to the Preakness?

"Not I", said the college kids and recent graduates. "They won't let us bring our beer and have fun this year."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"Not I", said the suburban family. "The Preakness is held in Pimlico, a dangerous neighborhood in Baltimore. We could be robbed, shot, stabbed, or have our car stolen. It's not safe there."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"Not I", said the owner of the small business. "Obama is talking about raising the top tax bracket to 50%. After I pay my employees and buy supplies, there won't be anything left for me."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"Not I", said the struggling middle class family. "I'm out of a job. Obama spent billions of dollars of stimulus money for the economy, but it all went to government projects. I worked for a private corporation that received none of it and had to lay off 20% of its employees."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"Not I", said the casino owner. "Martin O'Malley passed a law allowing the state to seize the Preakness and all of its assets. I'd be a fool to invest in anything in Maryland. I'd risk losing all of my money."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"Not I", said Brian Roberts of the Baltimore Orioles. "We have to go lose another game in our quest to have 12 consecutive losing seasons."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"Not I", said Joe Flacco. "I only go into the city 8 times per year on game day. It's way too dangerous without a front line to protect me."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"We will", said the sportscasters. "This could be the last Preakness in the state of Maryland. With all of the shenanigans that the Maryland General Assembly is pulling, the horse owners would be smart to just race somewhere else next year and call that the second leg of the Triple Crown."

Are you going to the Preakness?

"We will", said the jockeys. "We want to be reminded one more time why we want to move this first class event from a third class venue. Churchill Downs is nice. Belmont is nice. Pimlico is a dump. Why does Baltimore and Maryland not care about their race?"

Are you going to the Preakness?

"We will", said the thieves and robbers and murderers who were let go on probation or on technicalities by Baltimore's lenient criminal justice system. "The Preakness is an excellent time for us to steal some cars and rob some folks that ain't from these parts."

And so it will go. Smaller crowds will gather and the winnings will decrease. The people of Maryland will one day tell their grandchildren how once upon a time, the Preakness was held in Maryland, not California. But those children won't believe them, for most fairy tales are not true.

1 comment:

Daniel said...

Nope.

No interest anymore.

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